It’s a sign that I’ve been reading too much Discworld this week that as soon as I saw the phrase ‘postal service’ my brain immediately went, WELL, if Moist Von Lipwig had been ordered to take over the Post Office in ‘Fair Verona’ instead of Ankh-Morpork; he could have gotten it reformed NO PROBLEM! Then no hormonal teenagers would have had to die!”

…And now I’m contemplating that crossover.


Much as I love Moist, I’m afraid I have to disagree.

Feuding toffs, with their kinsmen and hangers-on scrapping in the streets? What Verona needed was Vimes. He’d just arrest the whole pack of ‘em and let the Montagues and Capulets sort out their differences in adjoining cells in the local equivalent of the Tanty. With Detritus as a mediator.

Except Juliet. He’d give her a job, because anyone able to put up with that amount of shit without resorting to mass murder has to have the makings of a good copper. Partner her with Angua for any length of time, and then see how receptive she is to horny teenage boys with balcony fetishes.

Don’t mind me folks, just reblogging to keep this on my tumblr for posterity.

Anonymous said: 5 favourite quotes from books?! :3

I’m awful at this because my memory for specificity is shot. But I will try!

1. Possibly my all time favorite is Hamlet’s “To Be or Not to Be” soliloquy, which I will count as coming from a book for my purposes. It’s profound to me, and one of the few things I genuinely appreciate from The Bard.

2. “The man in black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed.” From the first book of Stephen King’s Dark Tower. I don’t like King as much as I liked to but that line pretty much indicates the height of narrative exposition since its the basic description of the whole series in one of the most amazing hooks ever.

3. “What a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person.” John Green in Paper Towns. I love it because Green always does that thing where he rises far above anyone’s expectations for a young adult author and writes something that’s insightful and beautiful to anyone.

4. I don’t remember any single quotes from it, but China Mieville’s Un Lun Dun was full of ideas I’d like to quote more than quotes I quote. Read it and behold the wondrous, brilliant concept of the Unbrellisimo.

5. ” People want to forget the impossible. It makes their world safer.” Neil Gaiman in The Graveyard Book. 

They aren’t quite my favorite quotes of all time, but they’re my favorite quotes that I actually more or less remember right now at least. I need to work on my forgetfulness.